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AUGUST 2017 NEWSLETTER
Hello and welcome to the August 2017 newsletter.
So much has been happening since the last newsletter it is almost difficult to know where to start – except to say, we will be doing our best to get newsletters out more frequently in the future.
Knitting wool has been very busy over the last months, with several new yarns being introduced.
The girls have been busy knitting even more toys, the latest being the centipede, who they have named Cedric!
Good for using up ends of balls as you don’t have to stick to a complete colour for each section.
This can also make a good doorstop.
Remember, Christmas may seem like a long way away, but if you are making things, it will soon be with us – less than 5 months as it is.
Sue and Bob, a pair of tight wads, lived in the mid- west, and had been married years. Bob had always wanted to go flying. The desire deepened each time a barn stormer flew into town to offer rides. Bob would ask, and Sue would say, “No way, ten dollars is ten dollars.”
The years went by, and Bob figured he didn’t have much longer, so he got Sue out to the show, explaining, it’s free to watch, let’s at least watch. Once he got there the feeling become even stronger. Sue and Bob started an argument.
The Pilot, between flights, overheard, listened to their problem, and said, “I’ll tell you what, I’ll take you up flying, and if you don’t say a word the ride is on me, but if you make one sound, you pay ten dollars.”
So off they flew. The Pilot doing as many rolls, and dives as he could–heading to the ground as fast as the plane could go, and pulling out of the dive at just the very last second. Not a word. Finally, he admitted defeat and went back the airport.
“I’m surprised that you didn’t say anything?”
“Well I almost said something when Sue fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.”
We have been trying to keep people up to date with regular postings on our Facebook page. Some of the results have been pretty amazing with over 1000 people looking at various pages.
As end of term approaches, we are looking to organising items to keep the kiddies (small and large) occupied over the long break. Hama beads and plates, craft kits and knitting kits, beads all shapes and sizes including bead looms. One of our favourites at the moment, that are so easy to use, are the knitting looms. We used the medium size round one with a single ball of eskimo kisses (very soft and slightly fluffy) and just kept going round and round until the whole ball had been used up. The result was actually quite surprising. We ended up with a ‘garment’ that could be transformed into a scarf, a cowl, or a hoodie. Quite amazing and all from just one 50grm ball.
more pictures on our facebook page.
My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday. He asked me how old I was, and I told him, 80. My grandson was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, “Did you start at 1?”
I didn’t know if my granddaughter had learned her colours yet, so I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what colour it was. She would tell me and was always correct. It was fun for me, so I continued. At last, she headed for the door, saying, “Grandma, I think you should try to figure out some of these colours yourself!”
Children’s Logic: “Give me a sentence about a public servant,” said a teacher. The small boy wrote: “The fireman came down the ladder pregnant.” The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. “Don’t you know what pregnant means?” she asked.
“Sure,” said the young boy confidently. ‘It means carrying a child.”
My daughter asked me for a pet spider for her birthday, so I went to our local pet shop and they were £45!
“No way,” I thought, “I can get one cheaper off the web.”
A Word From John
In the window – and at the counter, we are displaying the same thing, a postcard, mounted in 4 different ways; none of them use any adhesive in contact with the artwork whatsoever, one can be viewed from both sides and one of them uses no adhesive, full stop!
Alongside it we are displaying the same thing mounted in another 4 different ways, from the worst to the best that many other framers mount things. If you have work of value (monetary or otherwise, some things that are irreplaceable and have huge sentimental value are not worth a penny to anyone else) this may be of interest to you.
All methods, good or bad, have zero effect on aesthetics – a framer’s true colours are hidden inside the frame.
When it comes to mounting 3-dimesional objects we also use non-adhesive methods, which not only do no damage to the items but are more effective than adhesive that will fail over time.
2000+ moulding samples, 400+ mount colours, computerised mount cutting, optically coated, UV filtering glazing, cutting edge design – one week (or less) turnaround.
On a less serious note …
One day in the jungle, a chimpanzee was inventing some tools to eat his dinner. One tool was a flat stick sharpened along one edge, this he used to cut his food. The other was a stick with four smaller sticks attached to the end each sharpened to a point. He used to spear his food and place it in his mouth. The chimp was very proud of his inventions which he called his one point tool and his four point tool.
One day he awoke to find that the four point tool was missing. The chimp was distraught. He ran around the jungle trying to find his precious tool. First he came upon the lion. ”Lion, Lion!” he cried, “Have you seen my four point tool?”
”No” replied the lion, “I have not seen your four point tool.”
Then the chimp came upon the gorilla. ”Gorilla, Gorilla!” he cried, “Have you seen my four point tool?”
”No” replied the gorilla, “I have not seen your four point tool.”
Then the chimp came upon the jaguar. ”Jaguar, Jaguar!” he cried, “Have you seen my four point tool?”
”Yup!” replied the jaguar, “I’ve seen your four point tool.”
”Well where is it?” inquired the chimp.
”I ate it” said the jaguar, smugly.
”Why would you do that?” cried the chimp.
”Because” replied the big cat, “I’m a four point tool eater jaguar!”
We can print up to A3 in B&W or colour from your email, disc, memory stick etc. You can also use our Wifi – the key is written on the front of the counter or on some devices we can connect you with a push of a button!
Optically coated glass for the price of standard glass on any complete frame job up to 16×12” or about 1.33 sq ft …. Or whatever that is in them there metrical things.
We will lace any needlework or mount any 3 dimensional object/sports shirt etc FOC if optically coated glass is selected, unless above applies.
Please quote “newsletter offer”. Offer open until next newsletter
Until next time…………..John
For those of you who may still be puzzling over John’s joke – the four point tool eater jaguar…. This is probably one for the boys but for tool eater jaguar, slide the letters and pronounce it too leater jaguar!
Does that help?
A few weeks ago, John & I took a weeks’ break and toured around south Wales. We visited some lovely places and also visited some areas that we chose to just keep on driving onwards! One of the places we planned on visiting was New Quay, where we hopefully would join a boat, to go whale/dolphin watching.
Unfortunately as best laid plans, the weather was too rough on the first day for the boats to go out so we had to pass on that. However, the hotel room that we had made up for all. Apart from being a huge room, it had a wonderful double bay window overlooking the bay. The owners had put a comfy tub chair in each bay and a pair of binoculars so we could sit and watch for dolphins in the warm. John spotted one, but in honesty it was relaxing just to sit and watch over the bay and the boats coming and going.
Earlier in the week we went paddling in the sea near Tenby, when John uncovered a live rifle bullet in the sand! You just can’t take him anywhere! We handed it in to the coastguard who didn’t seem that surprised.
Apart from the first day which was incredibly hot, it rained for the rest of the week – not too heavy but just enough to keep the air fresh. It always rains when we go on holiday, so at least that felt normal.
We did lots and lots of walking, although at a slow pace for me, but everywhere was up hills or steps, so we got plenty of exercise, which was really good.
I think we are both now ready to do another cruise, although not too sure where, just need to see what we can fit in with the staff! I am fancying one of these large ships that has an ice skating rink on board. I used to do a lot of that in my younger days but no idea if I could still manage it, but would love to have a go! Only problem these days is, if I fell over, I would have great difficulty in getting back up!
Some very sad news is that our local paper and sweet shop has now closed. The owners will continue to do local paper deliveries so that is good and the Co-op is taking on the papers and magazines.
We, in turn have taken on as much as we could of the non- food side, and so now we sell all the postal boxes, padded envelopes, plastic mail bags, bubble wrap, raffle books, post it notes, blue –tac, tip-ex, etc etc. So please do not hesitate to come to us in future if you need any of these items.
Optimism is now apparent, waiting for the new occupants of the shop, which we believe the favourite ‘rumour’ is that it will be a florist shop. That could be really good, so we are eagerly waiting to find out.
A neighbourly exchange in this technology age:
I have a confession to make. I’ve been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing.
The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that’s no excuse, I know. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. It won’t happen again.
Please suggest a fee for usage, and I’ll pay you.
Tom, feeling insulted and betrayed started drinking, after downing a few shots of Jack Daniels he grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbour dead.
He returned home where he finished the bottle and passed out on the sofa.
When he woke up he took out his phone, where he saw he had received a subsequent message from his (now deceased) neighbour.
This is Al next door again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out anyway, and that you noticed that darned auto-correct changed ‘wifi’ to ‘wife’.
I have to say the auto- correct on text phones certainly can totally change a message if you are not careful.
KNITTING WOOL We have several new wools that have either arrived or due to arrive shortly, which are proving very interesting. I just wish I had more time to crochet up more garments and toys.
New from Stylecraft is a very nice double knit called Tweedy. As the title gives a clue, each colour has a tweed mix. There are also only 4 colours in this range so that, from our point of view is a blessing.
Good patterns , although this will knit to any double knit pattern . See the sample knitted up garment in the shop.
HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY, I CAN’T LOOK THAT OLD? WELL……YOU’LL LOVE THIS ONE!
MY NAME IS ALICE SMITH AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST. I NOTICED HIS DENTAL DIPLOMA, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY SECONDARY SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN? UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GREY HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS FAR TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE. AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK SECONDARY SCHOOL.
‘YES, YES I DID. I’M A MORGANNER! ‘HE BEAMED WITH PRIDE. ‘WHEN DID YOU LEAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE?’ I ASKED
HE ANSWERED, IN 1965. WHY DO YOU ASK? ‘YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!’ I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN THE UGLY, OLD, BALD, WRINKLED, FAT A**ED, GREY HAIRED, DECREPIT, ******RD ASKED.
‘WHAT DID YOU TEACH?’
I had the morning off work recently to catch up on housework and washing. The washing machine decided to pack up with 4 loads waiting to go through! Ok, I was not going to let that get to me; I decided I would empty the dishwasher, which should by now be finished its cycle. Seems like I was having one of those days, the dishwasher had also decided to stop working. Well, nothing else for it but to go into work- there’s always plenty to do there. I am in the bedroom getting dressed, and trying very hard to get my trousers on. No matter how hard I pulled, they just would not pull over my leg. What I had not realised was that I was actually standing on the bottom of the leg! So, one hefty tug and it knocked me off balance, the leg became free and my hand shot up and punched me in the face just below my eye! Resulting in going to work with a nice bruise under my eye. People were so very concerned when they asked what had happened when they saw the bruise, but I can guarantee that not one person refrained from laughing as I told them my story!
Last night I got a text from the wife saying she was in Casualty. When I got home I watched all 50 minutes of it………never saw her once.
She still hasn’t come home yet….I’m starving.
4 PLY BABY KNITTING WOOL – from King Cole – this is a lovely range which consists of plain colours, spot colours and ‘print’ colours.
Although this is classed as a value baby yarn, it is also ideal for adults. This is accompanied by several new patterns. The idea of these styles is that you knit (or crochet) the different panels in different yarns. For example, the front may by knitted in the spot yarm and the back knitted in the corresponding colour in the print yarn. Then the sleeves may be knitted in the plain colour. This actually looks quite attractive and you can re-invent your favourite patterns to knit garments in this way.
KING COLE VENICE CHUNKY WOOL 50gr
7% Alpaca ; 30% Wool ; 9% Polyamide: 54% Polyacrylic fiber
Absolute delight to knit or crochet with. Washable. Only while stocks last.
£2 per ball. This is a huge bargain.
There is nothing worse than a Doctor’s Receptionist who insists you tell her what is wrong with you in a room full of other patients.
I know most of us have experienced this, and I love the way this old guy handled it.
A 65-year-old man walked into a crowded waiting room and approached the desk.
The Receptionist said, ‘Yes sir, what are you seeing the Doctor for today?’
‘There’s something wrong with my dick’, he replied.
The receptionist became irritated and said, ‘You shouldn’t come into a crowded waiting room and say things like that.
‘Why not, you asked me what was wrong and I told you,’ he said.
The Receptionist replied; ‘Now you’ve caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with the Doctor in private.’
The man replied, ‘You shouldn’t ask people questions in a roomful of strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked out, waited several minutes, and then re-entered.
The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, ‘Yes??’
‘There’s something wrong with my ear,’ he stated.
The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. ‘And what is wrong with your ear, Sir?’
‘I can’t pee out of it,’ he replied.
The waiting room erupted in laughter…
Mess with seniors, and you’re going to lose
So much new stock is arriving at the moment, it is almost too difficult to bring you up to date on everything in this one newsletter. Over the page we shall try to list some of them with pictures, but would ask you to keep checking on our Facebook page or website for updates – as they occur.
Christmas fabrics are back in with a large range this year.
TEDDIES – most of us love a teddy and I am certainly no exception. There is a range of smaller, multi coloured ones, traditional chimps, meerkats and the larger traditional teddy called Harvey.
This following range – First Steps toys, are small teddies in their own bag and these are suitable for ages 0 – upwards, which is really good as we are always being asked for teddies and gifts for newborns.
Halloween is the next ‘dressing up’ day to come and we have this year, apart from ribbons, witches hats, noses and bas of realistic plastic spiders. Also awaiting delivery are Dracula cloaks…..
Santa and Snowman long legs / owl toy kit/ rabbit kit
We have also now got in stock, rolls of faux fur fabric. There are 3 types plus a faux sheepskin.
An amazing offer for all year round – or as long as we are able to get stocks, metallic ribbon 15mm wide in 5 colours – green, red, silver, gold and rose gold at only £2 per 15 metre roll, which is less than 14p a metre.
The Traders Christmas night in the village this year will be on Wednesday 6th December from 6-9pm. If you haven’t been before, please do try to come along, its an amazing night. Lots of free drinks and snacks in the shops, Santa in his Santa grotto, which is totally free for the children with every child receiving a free gift as well. Raffle….tombola……..lucky dip…. and loads more.
The centre of the village is closed off to traffic for safety from 5pm to 10pm – which allows time for setting up and dismantling.
Watch out for the new bobble hats due to arrive soon with detachable fur bobbles.
Mini Christmas kits with hoops on felt aida.
Murphy’s other laws:
- Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
- A fine is a tax for doing wrong…. A tax is a fine for doing well.
- A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
- Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
- The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there’s a 90% probability you’ll get it wrong.
- If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
- God gave you toes as a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Well, that just leaves us to wish you all well and to thank you for continuing to support us.
Keep safe and well. Pat & John
END OF AUGUST 2017 NEWSLETTER
Hello and welcome to the September newsletter and can we also say welcome to the very many new customers that we seem to be seeing recently – all who seem to enjoy the newsletter!
Fabric has been proving extremely popular and is probably taking over as one of the best sellers in the shop at the moment. We have designated a new area for it and also consolidated the bulk of the fabric onto bolts so that it is easier to see and handle. Also you will see that we have all the fabric available in metre and half metre pieces on mini bolts, which are really cute. Not forgetting the large range of fat quarters as well.
We are trying to get pictures of the fabric as it comes in and put on our website, but that is proving almost impossible at times as it is now past its prime and refuses to co-operate! The new website is under construction and will hopefully be ready during the next few months – although it will probably take months to get pictures of everything we sell onto it.
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess… “Will you marry me?”
The Princess said “NO!”
And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles, and went fishing, and hunting, and played golf, and dated women half his age, and drank beer, and scotch and had tons of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up .
… The end
“Hello, You have reached the ‘Men’s Help Line.’ My name is Bob. How can I help you?”
“Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been
cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs; The phone rings and when I answer, the caller hangs up. Plus, she goes out with ‘the girls’ a lot. I usually try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I always fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was not home. So I hid in the garage behind my boat and waited for her.
When she came home, she got out of someone’s car, buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, while crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?”
We have just taken a largish delivery of new mugs. Most of them have humorous wording on i.e.
We have Limited stocks of all these, but we are hoping to get another delivery in next month, if they sell out too quickly!
Pictures of all these will be going onto our website, but it is still rather problematical and the new one is taking a lot longer than originally planned due to the sheer size of the whole site. We are aiming to get everything (if possible) that we sell onto the new website which is quite a lengthy task and it has caused us to have to totally rethink the original layout of the site. We currently have around 4000 items which we are putting onto various pages together with details.
It will also contain pictures of the entire collection of cross stitch and tapestry kits from Dimensions, Vervaco, Lanarte, Collection d’Art , Orchidea, Anchor & Stitch Garden plus latch hook kits from Wonderart. These will all be showing on the new website, together with their sizes and type of fabric they are worked on. The choice here is amazing. Obviously, we cannot possibly stock all these kits, but we can get them in stock generally within 48 hours. We are so often asked by customers if we have any catalogues showing what kits we can get, so now we will have the entire collection on our site. There will also be a ‘search’ facility, so you can search for any particular subject , i.e. put in ‘cat’ and it will bring up all the kits with cats on them.
We will also be showing all the haberdashery items that we sell, and of course the knitting wool and patterns. Special for the new site will also be some free patterns to download or print-off.
All good fun as they say, and it will certainly be worth all the wailing and nashing of teeth when we have achieved it!
In the meantime we are making more use of our facebook account . We find that people can interact with that as well, posting pictures of toys they have made from our wool and patterns, so it works well.
If you have a facebook account, please do not hesitate to checkout ours and follow. Thank you.
CLUB MEMBERSHIP – As a reminder, it costs £5 per year (which runs 1stJan – 31stDec), and in return you get 5% off everything in the shop including framing.
Anyone joining the membership after July, will pay just £2 for the remaining year August – December .
Due to the ever increasing costs of postage, and envelopes, we regret but we will be stopping the postal newsletters after this one.
They will still go out via email and copies will be available to collect from the shop.
We realise there are some of you who do not have access to the internet and are not able to get out as much as you wish and so for those of you, we will happily continue sending you the newsletter. All we ask is that you let us have a brief note asking to keep you on the postal mail list. At the moment we have something like 600 copies still going out in the post so I am sure you will appreciate, that is a lot of postage stamps!
Amazingly, these newsletters have been going out since 1997. In those days we did not even have a computer, it was formed on a word processor – remember those? And……..all the envelopes were written by hand! Those were the days eh?
We will also be sending out more frequent newsletters, although they will be smaller, in the form of a ‘blog’ via the new website. Don’t fret, they will still contain the jokes and any gossip and scandal we have – and there will be printed copies available in the shop.
Me and the wife have just been to the cinema to see that new film Suffragette.
Two hours of a woman’s struggle……..full of tears, aggression, sadness, anger and frustration.
Anyway, after she finally managed to park the car in the cinema car park we rushed in and caught the credits…
Paddy and Mick go on a rollercoaster , Mick says “Paddy I hope we dont fall out when this thing goes upside down”, “don’t be so stupid” says Paddy,”we’ve been pals for years”.
A policeman knocked at my door and showed me a photo,
“Is this your wife, sir?”
“I’m sorry to tell you but it looks like she’s been hit by a bus.”
“I know but she’s a very good cook!”
A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she’s low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she’s pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself.
She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock.
Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is faring.
Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while the blonde inside the car is saying,
“A little more to the left…a little more to the right…!”
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
‘Was I getting in or out of the bath?’
The 94-year-old yells back, ‘I don’t know. I’ll come
up and see.’ She starts up the stairs and pauses
‘Was I going up the stairs or down?
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says,
‘I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood…’
She then yells, ‘I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.’
I sometimes wonder why things never seem to be straightforward every time we try to do something.
One of our latest ‘problems’ was trying to contact our home internet provider – Talk Talk.
Initially I rang the help line and after about 10mins of security questions, as the account was in Johns name, they would not speak to me about the query and I had to pass the call over to John, much to his frustration. (at this stage, I always wonder how it is that they NEVER seem to apply the same rules when I am booking extra services etc…….)
Anyway, he then had to go through the usual security questions and when it got to him giving them our address, they said no, we didn’t live there. John explained we had lived here for the last 30 odd years, but no, they needed our ‘other address’!
John asked them if they would like us to move to agree with their records?
So………they then said they could not talk to us as we could not answer the security question!
Erm…..so what do we do then?
We needed to register on line, go into that account and change the address to the correct one.
OK, a bit long winded but sounded simple enough. 3 weeks later, multiple discussions with their online help- bearing in mind we can’t ring them as they can’t talk to us (?), it has also proved impossible to set up the internet account.
They have now decided they have an internal problem and it should be fixed in the next 28 days.!
In the meantime we still have the query.
I went through to loyalty depart, again on the internet, and told them I was not happy. They asked what the problem was. I was typing the reply as fast as I could but after 3 minutes, they said I had taken too long so pulled the plug on the conversation and disconnected me!
Some customer service!!
We have now decided that the best action will be to find another supplier and book through them, they will then be able to deal with Talk Talk and get that account closed! What a crazy world we are living in today!
Many of you may be aware by now of the new ‘TRAFFIC MANAGEMENT SCHEME’ for the village.
It basically consists of 25 speed humps and cushions along Water Lane and Station Road. This seems to be something dreamt up at West Sussex County Council with the help of our Parish Council. All reference to this scheme seems to conveniently ignore stating the actual number of speed humps/cushions planned. It seems they want to install a 20mph speed limit through the village, but as the police will not enforce that figure , they need to install all these humps to slow the traffic down!
There was a brief display in the village hall at very short notice during the day, for one day, so the majority of shop keepers and all those who worked could not attend. Also a lot of people who could have gone, did not, because they had no idea of the extent of the plans.
We set up a little sign outside the shop and put a table and chairs out there with some forms asking people’s opinion. We were careful not to state how we felt about it, but just asked people whether they were for or against and to sign the form. So far we have had in the region of some 400 back. A spreadsheet was drawn up for the first batch of over 200 and was handed in to the Parish Council who in turn sent in to West Sussex. They also included another 80 ish, that had been taken into their office.
It now seems that West Sussex will be carrying out a proper consultation in the village hall sometime in the very near future, but we do not have a date at the moment. When we do, we will ensure it is published into our windows. It really needs as many people as possible to go along and see what is proposed and then put their comments to West Sussex. It is important that everyone puts their comments in as an individual, to ensure their comments are counted. This affects everyone, even if you don’t drive. The buses have said they will not come to the village. Emergency vehicles will be slowed considerably, and quite honestly, if I had a serious back or neck injury that needed to be taken to hospital by ambulance, I really can’t see any fun in possibly risking death by having to go over all those humps.
There are other endless implications to this, minutes delay for a fire engine to reach your property in the event of a serious fire, could be the difference between putting the fire out or losing the house, it could even result in death. Its all quite horrendous, considering the options. So PLEASE, when you learn of the presentation date, do go along and voice your opinion. It is really important. (you don’t have to actually live in the village either, for instance, if you come into the village to use any of the shops, you could say that you will no longer do so due to the humps).
Those of you who have visited the shop over the last month, may have found the girls busy knitting and taking full advantage of me not being there on those days! Only one customer has actually reported them to me!! Look at the results though. Most of the items have been going in the widow to demonstrate what the finished products look like and also to show how the various toys knit up. They have been really busy knitting up all the Christmas bits with the tinsel wool which we all love and now they are starting on some of the Jean Greenhowe designs. It is really getting quite exciting. I am just half way through putting all the Jean Greenhowe books on our new website where they have a page to themselves. There is a picture of the actual book and if you click on that, you get pictures of all or most of the designs which are in the book. I am getting quite excited about it all. Some of the designs are so impressive and even though some of these book s have been around for many years, they still seem to be as popular as ever, and I can see why.
A WORD FROM JOHN
If you ever need to phone for directions to us, ask for me! The other day Pat was asking a customer if she knew where a certain person lived. The customer didn’t know the actual address but started giving directions. Pat interrupted with “You’re talking about Littlehampton, right”?
“Er, no, he lives in Worthing, always has – so anyway, from the pier, with the sea on your right, you come to some beach huts ………”
Oooh – I know, that’s where the London to Brighton bike ride ends”
“Er, no, that would be in …. Brighton”!
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic’s shop to have his Range Rover fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited; he said that was OK, he didn’t live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a litre of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem – how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, ‘Can you tell me how to get to 16 Mockingbird Lane’?
The farmer said, ‘Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to there, I would walk you there but I can’t carry this lot.’
The old lady suggested, ‘Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand’?
‘Why thank you very much,’ he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says ‘Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.’
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, ‘I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall and have your way with me?’
The farmer said, ‘Holy smokes lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a litre of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?’
The old lady replied, ‘Put the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens,’!
We keep a newsletter notebook under the counter – I opened it today – first entry read “helped lady on crutches in to the wrong shop”! I read it out loud and not much work got done for a good 15 mins after.
All of the above is taken from old newsletters, I cheated!
New in the framing world, I have joined the Professional Picture Framers Association – nothing has happened yet – it’s mainly US based; we are hoping to form a UK chapter but I am not sure when that may happen.
At least it has the words ‘Picture Framers’ in so it’s quite obvious what it is a trade association FOR and with the power of the www, information sharing is very easy, global location of HQ is not that important.
I am trying my hand at gilding and hand finishing frames – not ornate fancy stuff but modern contemporary, also gilded deep mount bevels; wish I’d taken it up years ago – watch out for the results.
We already do real gold lines on mounts, singly or to edge coloured panels and ‘wash lines’, very few framers do this these days.
Till next time
A brilliant new product now in stock is binca, but on FELT. So much easier to see and handle and a much nicer finished product. Good for hair bands, mug hugs, table mats – the choice is quite endless.
I have a very nice set of table mats that were a wedding present (all those years ago), so are quite sentimental, but also in good condition except for the felt backing which has slowly disintegrated over the years. I realised last week that we had sticky back felt in the shop in various colours, so treated myself to some and have now relined the backs of all the table mats! So, the motto is – you don’t have to throw it away, you can repair it!
Don’t forget, if you need whole rolls of ribbon, bias binding, cotton tape etc., then we give you 15% off the full roll price. Curtain tape, has some even higher discounts, so well worth checking out.
Velcro also has reduced prices for full boxes and you can buy the sides separately if you need.
We are clearing out various beads to make room for new stock. There is a drawer of ‘bling’ beads all reduced down to just £1 each. There are still quite a few to choose from so do have a look when you are next in.
I hate to use that ‘C’ word so early in the year, but for those of us who make things for Christmas, you can never start too early.
Two of the latest knitting patterns now in stock.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
“What’s it about?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”
A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.”
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting.” she said… “How do you make babies?”
“It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”
Putting pictures of all our products onto the new website is proving an invaluable exercise. There are so many items from our suppliers that we had no idea they could supply, that Karen and I have been getting so excited at seeing and keep calling the other one over to look and check out. It will be so good to get all this out to everyone.
While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, “Your Honour, I’m guilty but…..there were extenuating circumstances.”
The female Judge said, sarcastically, “I’d certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances.” I did too soooo I listened as the lady told her story.
“Your Honour, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, “Hi! I’m Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?”
I’m thinking, “Belinda, try decaf. This ain’t rocket science. “Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, “Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?” Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!
Complete darkness, the power was off!
Belinda said, “Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag.” Then she headed for the door.
“Excuse me! You’re not leaving me in this vice alone are you?” I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, “Oh, you fussy puppy…the door’s wide open so you’ll have the emergency hall lights. I’ll be right back.”
Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that’s exactly how Bubba and Earl, ‘maintenance men extraordinaire’ found me…half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging a polite Hi, how’s it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, “Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway.”
“OK, you take care now” Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I’d been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, “Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?”
And that, Your Honour, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps….”
The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said “Case Dismissed.”
Many of you have been asking for the paper shapes used in quilting, and we are now delighted to tell you that we have some of these in stock
They are all made by Tilda and are in various shapes.
New in – Halloween knitting patterns and tinsel wool in Halloween colours.
Also new in – Cabaret wool by Stylecraft.
A lovely multi coloured double knit in warm Autumn colours – patterns are all in stock, but this knits to any double knit pattern.
There are lots of new bits and pieces coming in for Christmas as well, so please keep popping in to check what the latest arrivals are.
Lots of Chunkies and super chunkies in preparation for a cold winter, which is being promised this year, and a most gorgeous double knitting vintage wool – only 3 shades but must be seen to be appreciated.
Talking of Christmas, with huge amounts of fingers crossed, there will be a traders Christmas evening again this year. The date will be Wednesday 7th December, so a wee bit earlier to avoid clashing with other things going on.
Please make a note of the date and we look forward to seeing as many of you as possible on the night – don’t forget the free drinks and sausage rolls, it always helps!! (6pm – 9pm)
We would also like to remind people that Christmas tends to be a very busy time for framing and although we have two framers working pretty well flat out, we would ask any of you thinking of getting something framed particularly for Christmas, not to leave it till the last moment. Thank you.
Please keep checking in on our facebook account and like as much as you can and we will let you know as soon as the new website is up and running.
This just leaves us to thank everyone for their support over the last year and to wish you all good health for the rest of this year and the coming years. Have a lovely Christmas and we look forward to hearing all about your holidays- including the disaster ones – we are seriously considering making up a new section for ‘holidays we don’t intend repeating!”
Finally, congratulations to my son who has just earnt his doctorate. Proud Mum.
Best regards – Pat & John.