Please sign up to our blog to receive up to the minute news straight to your email inbox.
Hello and welcome to the September newsletter and can we also say welcome to the very many new customers that we seem to be seeing recently – all who seem to enjoy the newsletter!
Fabric has been proving extremely popular and is probably taking over as one of the best sellers in the shop at the moment. We have designated a new area for it and also consolidated the bulk of the fabric onto bolts so that it is easier to see and handle. Also you will see that we have all the fabric available in metre and half metre pieces on mini bolts, which are really cute. Not forgetting the large range of fat quarters as well.
We are trying to get pictures of the fabric as it comes in and put on our website, but that is proving almost impossible at times as it is now past its prime and refuses to co-operate! The new website is under construction and will hopefully be ready during the next few months – although it will probably take months to get pictures of everything we sell onto it.
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess… “Will you marry me?”
The Princess said “NO!”
And the Prince lived happily ever after, and rode motorcycles, and went fishing, and hunting, and played golf, and dated women half his age, and drank beer, and scotch and had tons of money in the bank, and left the toilet seat up .
… The end
“Hello, You have reached the ‘Men’s Help Line.’ My name is Bob. How can I help you?”
“Hi Bob, I really need your advice on a serious problem. I have suspected for some time now that my wife has been
cheating on me. You know, just the usual signs; The phone rings and when I answer, the caller hangs up. Plus, she goes out with ‘the girls’ a lot. I usually try to stay awake to look out for her when she comes home, but I always fall asleep. Anyway, last night about midnight, I woke up and she was not home. So I hid in the garage behind my boat and waited for her.
When she came home, she got out of someone’s car, buttoning her blouse, then she took her panties out of her purse and slipped them on. It was at that moment, while crouched behind the boat, that I noticed a hairline crack in the outboard motor mounting bracket. Is that something I can weld, or do I need to replace the whole bracket?”
We have just taken a largish delivery of new mugs. Most of them have humorous wording on i.e.
We have Limited stocks of all these, but we are hoping to get another delivery in next month, if they sell out too quickly!
Pictures of all these will be going onto our website, but it is still rather problematical and the new one is taking a lot longer than originally planned due to the sheer size of the whole site. We are aiming to get everything (if possible) that we sell onto the new website which is quite a lengthy task and it has caused us to have to totally rethink the original layout of the site. We currently have around 4000 items which we are putting onto various pages together with details.
It will also contain pictures of the entire collection of cross stitch and tapestry kits from Dimensions, Vervaco, Lanarte, Collection d’Art , Orchidea, Anchor & Stitch Garden plus latch hook kits from Wonderart. These will all be showing on the new website, together with their sizes and type of fabric they are worked on. The choice here is amazing. Obviously, we cannot possibly stock all these kits, but we can get them in stock generally within 48 hours. We are so often asked by customers if we have any catalogues showing what kits we can get, so now we will have the entire collection on our site. There will also be a ‘search’ facility, so you can search for any particular subject , i.e. put in ‘cat’ and it will bring up all the kits with cats on them.
We will also be showing all the haberdashery items that we sell, and of course the knitting wool and patterns. Special for the new site will also be some free patterns to download or print-off.
All good fun as they say, and it will certainly be worth all the wailing and nashing of teeth when we have achieved it!
In the meantime we are making more use of our facebook account . We find that people can interact with that as well, posting pictures of toys they have made from our wool and patterns, so it works well.
If you have a facebook account, please do not hesitate to checkout ours and follow. Thank you.
CLUB MEMBERSHIP – As a reminder, it costs £5 per year (which runs 1stJan – 31stDec), and in return you get 5% off everything in the shop including framing.
Anyone joining the membership after July, will pay just £2 for the remaining year August – December .
Due to the ever increasing costs of postage, and envelopes, we regret but we will be stopping the postal newsletters after this one.
They will still go out via email and copies will be available to collect from the shop.
We realise there are some of you who do not have access to the internet and are not able to get out as much as you wish and so for those of you, we will happily continue sending you the newsletter. All we ask is that you let us have a brief note asking to keep you on the postal mail list. At the moment we have something like 600 copies still going out in the post so I am sure you will appreciate, that is a lot of postage stamps!
Amazingly, these newsletters have been going out since 1997. In those days we did not even have a computer, it was formed on a word processor – remember those? And……..all the envelopes were written by hand! Those were the days eh?
We will also be sending out more frequent newsletters, although they will be smaller, in the form of a ‘blog’ via the new website. Don’t fret, they will still contain the jokes and any gossip and scandal we have – and there will be printed copies available in the shop.
Me and the wife have just been to the cinema to see that new film Suffragette.
Two hours of a woman’s struggle……..full of tears, aggression, sadness, anger and frustration.
Anyway, after she finally managed to park the car in the cinema car park we rushed in and caught the credits…
Paddy and Mick go on a rollercoaster , Mick says “Paddy I hope we dont fall out when this thing goes upside down”, “don’t be so stupid” says Paddy,”we’ve been pals for years”.
A policeman knocked at my door and showed me a photo,
“Is this your wife, sir?”
“I’m sorry to tell you but it looks like she’s been hit by a bus.”
“I know but she’s a very good cook!”
A blonde woman is driving down the road. She notices that she’s low on gas, so she stops at a gas station. While she’s pumping her gas, she notices that she locked the keys in the car. So when she goes inside to pay, she asks the attendant for a hanger so that she can attempt to open the door herself.
She returns outside and begins to jimmy the lock.
Ten minutes later, the attendant comes out to see how the blonde is faring.
Outside the car, the blonde is moving the hanger around and around while the blonde inside the car is saying,
“A little more to the left…a little more to the right…!”
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96, live in a house
together. One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters,
‘Was I getting in or out of the bath?’
The 94-year-old yells back, ‘I don’t know. I’ll come
up and see.’ She starts up the stairs and pauses
‘Was I going up the stairs or down?
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening to her sisters, she shakes her head and says,
‘I sure hope I never get that forgetful, knock on wood…’
She then yells, ‘I’ll come up and help both of you as soon as I see who’s at the door.’
I sometimes wonder why things never seem to be straightforward every time we try to do something.
One of our latest ‘problems’ was trying to contact our home internet provider – Talk Talk.
Initially I rang the help line and after about 10mins of security questions, as the account was in Johns name, they would not speak to me about the query and I had to pass the call over to John, much to his frustration. (at this stage, I always wonder how it is that they NEVER seem to apply the same rules when I am booking extra services etc…….)
Anyway, he then had to go through the usual security questions and when it got to him giving them our address, they said no, we didn’t live there. John explained we had lived here for the last 30 odd years, but no, they needed our ‘other address’!
John asked them if they would like us to move to agree with their records?
So………they then said they could not talk to us as we could not answer the security question!
Erm…..so what do we do then?
We needed to register on line, go into that account and change the address to the correct one.
OK, a bit long winded but sounded simple enough. 3 weeks later, multiple discussions with their online help- bearing in mind we can’t ring them as they can’t talk to us (?), it has also proved impossible to set up the internet account.
They have now decided they have an internal problem and it should be fixed in the next 28 days.!
In the meantime we still have the query.
I went through to loyalty depart, again on the internet, and told them I was not happy. They asked what the problem was. I was typing the reply as fast as I could but after 3 minutes, they said I had taken too long so pulled the plug on the conversation and disconnected me!
Some customer service!!
We have now decided that the best action will be to find another supplier and book through them, they will then be able to deal with Talk Talk and get that account closed! What a crazy world we are living in today!
Many of you may be aware by now of the new ‘TRAFFIC MANAGEMENT SCHEME’ for the village.
It basically consists of 25 speed humps and cushions along Water Lane and Station Road. This seems to be something dreamt up at West Sussex County Council with the help of our Parish Council. All reference to this scheme seems to conveniently ignore stating the actual number of speed humps/cushions planned. It seems they want to install a 20mph speed limit through the village, but as the police will not enforce that figure , they need to install all these humps to slow the traffic down!
There was a brief display in the village hall at very short notice during the day, for one day, so the majority of shop keepers and all those who worked could not attend. Also a lot of people who could have gone, did not, because they had no idea of the extent of the plans.
We set up a little sign outside the shop and put a table and chairs out there with some forms asking people’s opinion. We were careful not to state how we felt about it, but just asked people whether they were for or against and to sign the form. So far we have had in the region of some 400 back. A spreadsheet was drawn up for the first batch of over 200 and was handed in to the Parish Council who in turn sent in to West Sussex. They also included another 80 ish, that had been taken into their office.
It now seems that West Sussex will be carrying out a proper consultation in the village hall sometime in the very near future, but we do not have a date at the moment. When we do, we will ensure it is published into our windows. It really needs as many people as possible to go along and see what is proposed and then put their comments to West Sussex. It is important that everyone puts their comments in as an individual, to ensure their comments are counted. This affects everyone, even if you don’t drive. The buses have said they will not come to the village. Emergency vehicles will be slowed considerably, and quite honestly, if I had a serious back or neck injury that needed to be taken to hospital by ambulance, I really can’t see any fun in possibly risking death by having to go over all those humps.
There are other endless implications to this, minutes delay for a fire engine to reach your property in the event of a serious fire, could be the difference between putting the fire out or losing the house, it could even result in death. Its all quite horrendous, considering the options. So PLEASE, when you learn of the presentation date, do go along and voice your opinion. It is really important. (you don’t have to actually live in the village either, for instance, if you come into the village to use any of the shops, you could say that you will no longer do so due to the humps).
Those of you who have visited the shop over the last month, may have found the girls busy knitting and taking full advantage of me not being there on those days! Only one customer has actually reported them to me!! Look at the results though. Most of the items have been going in the widow to demonstrate what the finished products look like and also to show how the various toys knit up. They have been really busy knitting up all the Christmas bits with the tinsel wool which we all love and now they are starting on some of the Jean Greenhowe designs. It is really getting quite exciting. I am just half way through putting all the Jean Greenhowe books on our new website where they have a page to themselves. There is a picture of the actual book and if you click on that, you get pictures of all or most of the designs which are in the book. I am getting quite excited about it all. Some of the designs are so impressive and even though some of these book s have been around for many years, they still seem to be as popular as ever, and I can see why.
A WORD FROM JOHN
If you ever need to phone for directions to us, ask for me! The other day Pat was asking a customer if she knew where a certain person lived. The customer didn’t know the actual address but started giving directions. Pat interrupted with “You’re talking about Littlehampton, right”?
“Er, no, he lives in Worthing, always has – so anyway, from the pier, with the sea on your right, you come to some beach huts ………”
Oooh – I know, that’s where the London to Brighton bike ride ends”
“Er, no, that would be in …. Brighton”!
A farmer stopped by the local mechanic’s shop to have his Range Rover fixed. They couldn’t do it while he waited; he said that was OK, he didn’t live far and would just walk home.
On the way home he stopped at the hardware store and bought a bucket and a litre of paint. He then stopped by the feed store and picked up a couple of chickens and a goose. However, struggling outside the store he now had a problem – how to carry his entire purchases home.
While he was scratching his head he was approached by a little old lady who told him she was lost. She asked, ‘Can you tell me how to get to 16 Mockingbird Lane’?
The farmer said, ‘Well, as a matter of fact, my farm is very close to there, I would walk you there but I can’t carry this lot.’
The old lady suggested, ‘Why don’t you put the can of paint in the bucket, carry the bucket in one hand, put a chicken under each arm and carry the goose in your other hand’?
‘Why thank you very much,’ he said and proceeded to walk the old girl home.
On the way he says ‘Let’s take my short cut and go down this alley. We’ll be there in no time.’
The little old lady looked him over cautiously then said, ‘I am a lonely widow without a husband to defend me. How do I know that when we get in the alley you won’t hold me up against the wall and have your way with me?’
The farmer said, ‘Holy smokes lady! I’m carrying a bucket, a litre of paint, two chickens, and a goose. How in the world could I possibly hold you up against the wall and do that?’
The old lady replied, ‘Put the goose down, cover him with the bucket, put the paint on top of the bucket, and I’ll hold the chickens,’!
We keep a newsletter notebook under the counter – I opened it today – first entry read “helped lady on crutches in to the wrong shop”! I read it out loud and not much work got done for a good 15 mins after.
All of the above is taken from old newsletters, I cheated!
New in the framing world, I have joined the Professional Picture Framers Association – nothing has happened yet – it’s mainly US based; we are hoping to form a UK chapter but I am not sure when that may happen.
At least it has the words ‘Picture Framers’ in so it’s quite obvious what it is a trade association FOR and with the power of the www, information sharing is very easy, global location of HQ is not that important.
I am trying my hand at gilding and hand finishing frames – not ornate fancy stuff but modern contemporary, also gilded deep mount bevels; wish I’d taken it up years ago – watch out for the results.
We already do real gold lines on mounts, singly or to edge coloured panels and ‘wash lines’, very few framers do this these days.
Till next time
A brilliant new product now in stock is binca, but on FELT. So much easier to see and handle and a much nicer finished product. Good for hair bands, mug hugs, table mats – the choice is quite endless.
I have a very nice set of table mats that were a wedding present (all those years ago), so are quite sentimental, but also in good condition except for the felt backing which has slowly disintegrated over the years. I realised last week that we had sticky back felt in the shop in various colours, so treated myself to some and have now relined the backs of all the table mats! So, the motto is – you don’t have to throw it away, you can repair it!
Don’t forget, if you need whole rolls of ribbon, bias binding, cotton tape etc., then we give you 15% off the full roll price. Curtain tape, has some even higher discounts, so well worth checking out.
Velcro also has reduced prices for full boxes and you can buy the sides separately if you need.
We are clearing out various beads to make room for new stock. There is a drawer of ‘bling’ beads all reduced down to just £1 each. There are still quite a few to choose from so do have a look when you are next in.
I hate to use that ‘C’ word so early in the year, but for those of us who make things for Christmas, you can never start too early.
Two of the latest knitting patterns now in stock.
A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather’s word processor. She told him she was writing a story.
“What’s it about?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” she replied. “I can’t read.”
A 6-year-old was asked where his grandma lived. “Oh,” he said, “she lives at the airport, and when we want her, we just go get her. Then, when we’re done having her visit, we take her back to the airport.”
A second grader came home from school and said to her grandmother, “Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies today.” The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her cool. “That’s interesting.” she said… “How do you make babies?”
“It’s simple,” replied the girl. “You just change ‘y’ to ‘i’ and add ‘es’.”
Putting pictures of all our products onto the new website is proving an invaluable exercise. There are so many items from our suppliers that we had no idea they could supply, that Karen and I have been getting so excited at seeing and keep calling the other one over to look and check out. It will be so good to get all this out to everyone.
While conducting some business at the Courthouse, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, “Your Honour, I’m guilty but…..there were extenuating circumstances.”
The female Judge said, sarcastically, “I’d certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances.” I did too soooo I listened as the lady told her story.
“Your Honour, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her head to one side and crooned, “Hi! I’m Belinda! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, then slip on this gown. Everything clear?”
I’m thinking, “Belinda, try decaf. This ain’t rocket science. “Belinda then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors.
With the right side finished, Belinda flipped me (literally) to the left and said, “Hmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?” Fine, I answered. I was freezing, bruised, and out of air, so why not use the remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity (with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass) when I heard and felt a zap!
Complete darkness, the power was off!
Belinda said, “Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag.” Then she headed for the door.
“Excuse me! You’re not leaving me in this vice alone are you?” I shouted.
Belinda kept going and said, “Oh, you fussy puppy…the door’s wide open so you’ll have the emergency hall lights. I’ll be right back.”
Before I could shout NOOOO! She disappeared. And that’s exactly how Bubba and Earl, ‘maintenance men extraordinaire’ found me…half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!
After exchanging a polite Hi, how’s it going type greeting, Bubba (or possibly Earl) asked, to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off.
Trying to disguise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, “Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway.”
“OK, you take care now” Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I’d been standing in the line at the grocery store.
Two hours later, Belinda breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. Making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, “Oh I am sooo sorry! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to lunch. Are we upset?”
And that, Your Honour, is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps….”
The judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said “Case Dismissed.”
Many of you have been asking for the paper shapes used in quilting, and we are now delighted to tell you that we have some of these in stock
They are all made by Tilda and are in various shapes.
New in – Halloween knitting patterns and tinsel wool in Halloween colours.
Also new in – Cabaret wool by Stylecraft.
A lovely multi coloured double knit in warm Autumn colours – patterns are all in stock, but this knits to any double knit pattern.
There are lots of new bits and pieces coming in for Christmas as well, so please keep popping in to check what the latest arrivals are.
Lots of Chunkies and super chunkies in preparation for a cold winter, which is being promised this year, and a most gorgeous double knitting vintage wool – only 3 shades but must be seen to be appreciated.
Talking of Christmas, with huge amounts of fingers crossed, there will be a traders Christmas evening again this year. The date will be Wednesday 7th December, so a wee bit earlier to avoid clashing with other things going on.
Please make a note of the date and we look forward to seeing as many of you as possible on the night – don’t forget the free drinks and sausage rolls, it always helps!! (6pm – 9pm)
We would also like to remind people that Christmas tends to be a very busy time for framing and although we have two framers working pretty well flat out, we would ask any of you thinking of getting something framed particularly for Christmas, not to leave it till the last moment. Thank you.
Please keep checking in on our facebook account and like as much as you can and we will let you know as soon as the new website is up and running.
This just leaves us to thank everyone for their support over the last year and to wish you all good health for the rest of this year and the coming years. Have a lovely Christmas and we look forward to hearing all about your holidays- including the disaster ones – we are seriously considering making up a new section for ‘holidays we don’t intend repeating!”
Finally, congratulations to my son who has just earnt his doctorate. Proud Mum.
Best regards – Pat & John.